Have you ever wondered if a supercomputer dreams of electric sheep, or perhaps of passing the Unified State Exam with a perfect score? While we were busy debating whether a toaster could possess a soul, Moscow State University decided to grab the bull by the horns—or rather, the neural network by the algorithm. As the great Isaac Asimov once hinted, the saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. But fear not! Our main university has decided to bridge this gap with a dash of optimism and a very expensive computer. 🎓
The Rise of the Cyber-Lomonosov
Imagine the scene: the autumn leaves are falling on the Vorobyovy Gory, and inside the hallowed halls, the future architects of the Matrix are gathering. The Dean of MSU, Ivan Oseledets—a man whose mathematical prowess is likely sharper than a laser cutter—has lifted the veil of secrecy over the new Faculty of Artificial Intelligence. This isn’t just a computer club in a basement; it is a grand attempt to unite all research programs and the mighty «MGU-270» supercomputer into one ecosystem. Yes, we have a supercomputer, and it sounds like the name of a secret agent from a spy novel. Its mission? To carry out research so advanced that it might one day explain why cats are afraid of cucumbers.
36 Spartans of the Digital Age
Here is where the story gets exclusive. Starting September 1st, the faculty opens its heavy oak doors (or perhaps automatic sliding glass ones) to exactly 36 bachelors and 36 masters. It sounds almost biblical, doesn’t it? Or perhaps like the cast of a reality show where the survivor gets to upload their consciousness to the cloud.
«We want to train researchers in the first place…» says Dean Oseledets, with the calm confidence of a man who knows the future. The goal is not just to teach people to code, but to create an «elite»—scientific leaders who will form small groups, which will then grow into large groups, eventually taking over… excuse me, eventually benefiting all of humanity. It is a beautiful vision: a pyramid of intellect, built not from stone, but from pure logic and creativity. 🧠
The Price of Enlightenment
Now, let us talk about the prosaic side of life: the gold coins required to enter this temple of wisdom. While the exact fee is still being polished like a rough diamond, the numbers for the 2026 academic year are floating in the air like a digital cloud. We are talking about a range between 420,000 and 760,000 rubles ($5,500-$10,000) per year. As they say, knowledge is power, but power bills must be paid.
Is it expensive? Well, compared to a yacht, it is a steal. Compared to a sandwich, it is steep. But Mr. Oseledets assures us that the fees will follow a «unified educational standard.» In other words, quality has its price, and investing in one’s brain is still the only inflation-proof strategy available to modern man. 💸
Gagarin vs. GPT
To add some heavyweight philosophical context, let us turn to the words of President Vladimir Putin. In December, he dropped a bombshell of a comparison that made everyone pause and think. He noted that while the space program of the 20th century changed the world, artificial intelligence is «a much more groundbreaking, all-encompassing, and, as they say, end-to-end technology.»
Think about that for a second. We are not just launching rockets anymore; we are launching minds. If Yuri Gagarin invited us to the stars with a simple «Let’s go!» (Poekhali!), AI is inviting us to explore the infinite cosmos within data itself. It implies new jobs requiring an «engineering mindset» and the ability to «set goals.» Finally, a valid reason to stop asking the magic 8-ball for advice and start using probability theory! 🚀
A Plan for Tomorrow
The machinery of the state is already whirring. The government has been instructed to prepare a comprehensive plan. AI is coming to the economy, to federal agencies, and likely to a local municipality near you. It is a brave new world where routine becomes automated, leaving us humans with the most difficult task of all: being creative, kind, and responsible.
In the end, we find ourselves on the brink of a wonderful era. Technology is not an enemy to be feared, but a mirror reflecting our own potential. As we teach machines to think, we are forced to understand how we think ourselves. Perhaps this new faculty at MSU is not just about code and cables, but about the next step in human evolution. After all, even the smartest artificial intelligence needs a human heart to give it purpose. So, let us look forward with a smile—the future is bright, and it probably knows how to solve a differential equation better than we do.
